Writing Exercise 5/10/19 Enough

So to try to catch up on these writing exercises, I decided to do a stream of consciousness post again. Maybe it will go a little better this time; I hope so. Either way, here it is.

Cars are racing down the highway, oblivious to the fact that there is a little mobile home park tucked just out of sight right next to the busy road. A cool breeze in my hair, I close my eyes and take in the scent of the night; the air is slightly crisp with a clean scent. I listen to the cars, racing, always racing. Why are they going so fast? Especially this late at night; where do they have to be so urgently? The rain starts to fall, the soft pattering of the droplets fills my ears but does not erase the sound of cars.

It is hot inside my house. Not summer hot, but definitely warmer than I’d like. The fans are going, the windows are open, but it’s still somewhat sticky. I don’t like it. I don’t do well in the heat and it’s only going to get hotter. I miss the early spring or late fall, when the heat is low and the air is crisp and the seasons are changing. New life growing, old life ending, nature’s cycle. It’s fascinating.

I love being Pagan. I love that we celebrate the wheel of the year, each spoke one more step along the path to birth, growth, death, and rebirth. Life is a circle. We should celebrate each stop along the path; take some time to appreciate what is around us, the Earth, and our own lives. Well, I should say that I love celebrating the wheel of the year; I know not all Pagans do. Pagan is a very broad term.

Okay, I’m running out of thoughts again. At least this time it’s a little more focused than last time. I do find it hard to focus sometimes but I asked my therapist and they don’t think I have ADD or anything like that; I’m just weird I guess. That’s okay; it’s good, being weird. It’s a good thing. Normal is overrated, and boring. Weird is interesting and fun. Don’t let other people judge you. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind, right?

I wish I could afford to dress the way I’d like to. Most of my clothes are hand-me-downs, thrift store finds, or whatever is cheap at Walmart. Mostly T-shirts. I’d love to dress in lovely renaissancey tops and dresses with flowy sleeves and pretty ribbons, with nice skirts or jeans and cute boots and matching jewelry. When I have the money, my whole style is going to change and I’ll wear pretty things. Someday. I look forward to it. I do have a custom corset but honestly I’m not that happy with it. The lady I bought it from was a pain in the butt to communicate with, and once I finally got it, it wasn’t really quite what I had been expecting. It is cute though.

I’d do so many fun things if I had money. I would buy a house and make a garden, get more pets, do more crafts, travel and visit fun places…so many things. I hope one day I get to do everything I want to, but it starts here, with me following my dreams.

I don’t even want much. I want a job that doesn’t eat my soul. I want a stable home. I want enough. I don’t want to be rich and/or famous; I just want to be able to pay my bills and put a roof over my head and food on my table. I’d love to have enough to do everything I dream, but I’d be happy with just enough.